Words Are Powerful

Words are powerful tools. Especially when you are under stress and tempted to say the wrong thing.

Words can build up or tear down. You and I cannot carelessly say whatever we want and then expect a quick apology to heal all wounds.

Even words spoken in haste can deeply hurt someone. Of course, not all messages we send are verbal. Facial expressions and body language can communicate acceptance or rejection, like or dislike, love or hate. Sometimes, simply our presence sends a powerful message.

What are you communicating through your words and actions? Make sure it’s a message that will please the Lord as well as lift up those around you.

Sometimes when others or ourselves are struggling with an addiction, we are under great stress. Our mental “acuity” really isn’t up to speed, as we are influenced by toxins (alcohol/drugs) in our bodies.

Be patient with others when they seem to make impulse comments. Sometimes it isn’t coming from the heart, but coming from a person whose thought patterns are being negatively influenced.

If you are that person who just seems to blurt out painful comments do an old trick that has worked for me. Say the comment to yourself in your own mind and ask yourself, “ok, if i say this, is someone going to be offended?”

If you are reasonably certain that the comment is full of love, then say it. If not, then keep it to yourself. Processing something in our own minds before we say it wil save us much grief. The old “think before we speak” mentality.

We at Christian Help For Addiction Online hope and pray that things are getting better for you and your family. Try to read the bible on a daily basis, it can do wonders for the troubled soul. God Bless….

 

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Ever Feel Like A Victim?

A victim is someone who has been harmed

in some way, whether physically, financially,

vocationally, emotionally, or otherwise. Almost

all people are treated poorly at one time or

another. They may have done nothing to deserve

it. But some people never recover from the

mistreatment they experience.Whether or not

they label themselves as “victims,” they allow

hurtful experiences to permanently disrupt

their lives. They use negative incidents as

excuses for sinful or irresponsible behavior.

As believers, we don’t have to fall into this

destructive pattern.Why? Romans 8:28 says,

“We know that God causes all things to work

together for good to those who love God, to

those who are called according to His purpose.”

Our loving heavenly Father is in control of all

things. Instead of allowing personal tragedy to

devastate us, we can choose to allow God to

use it to mature us spiritually.

You might be struggling with an addiction right now. Be it an alcohol or drug addiction, or many of the hundreds of others. Don’t give up hope.. Sometimes it’s in the last hour of your despair that God shows up. You might be at your breaking point, but hold strong and pray. You really have to “surrender” and say, “Lord, I can’t do this on my own, I need you now”, and then wait and see how God steps in.

You could be on the threshold of a break through, hang in there and pray.. Give it over to God, and watch him work in your life. We are praying for you…God Bless

 

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Loneliness Can Be A Trigger

Loneliness is one of man’s most painful and feared emotions. Many people consider isolation, disconnectedness, and abandonment excruciating—especially during periods of crisis

During these difficult times, we sometimes “self medicate” with drugs or alcohol to ease the pain that loneliness brings. It becomes a vicious cycle, as our companion for life is then found in a bottle or other means.  An individual I knew for many years suddenly fell into the grips of loneliness. Detaching from his friends and family he started living an isolated life. Depression set in, and you could pretty much write the end of the story.

Don’t let yourself fall into that the trap of loneliness. Develop a resource of faithful, healthy friends, and lean on them in difficult times. If you don’t know where to look for such people, then try your local church one Sunday. Mingle after the service, and start throwing your name around. After a few weeks of attending, you should start to develop a few “Godly” contacts, that will be a wonderful resource.

Remember, even in painful circumstances, three truths are certain: Jesus stands with us; He strengthens us for whatever task God wants us to accomplish; and He will enable us to fulfill God’s purpose till our final breath. Be comforted and encouraged by these promises of the living Lord. God Bless…

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Keeping Life Simple

The world bombards us with messages that nourish feelings of inferiority. Happiness and satisfaction are promised if we will only drive the latest car, wear the newest styles, or build up those muscles while losing unsightly pounds. If we do not guard against the onslaught of commercialism, it will drive the truth of God from our minds, and we will pursue a fruitless search for adequacy and value.

So often we look at externals to prove to ourselves and others that we’re valuable. Or we think, If only I were better-looking, richer, or smarter, I would be accepted and esteemed. It’s not wise to let others’ opinions and standards determine our feelings about ourselves; the only accurate assessment of our worth comes from looking into the eyes of the One who loved us enough to die in our place.

Christ loves us just the way we are, whether we are rich or poor, addicted or not. We don’t have to impress others, or be influenced by their dysfunctional behavior. Read your bible this week. Start with the book of Psalms. It will help give you guidance and strength in difficult times. God bless…

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Prescription Meds And Addiction Risks

Hi everyone from Christian Help For Addiction Online,

A call from my neighbor the other night revealed that his brother-in-law was admitted into a drug rehab facility for treatment. I was a bit shocked, as I knew the guy, and he was what appeared to be a pretty “high functioning” individual. He held a good job and had a wife and a young child. Initially I was thinking the “hard stuff”, maybe even Heroin, but when I asked further, I found out he was hooked on “pain killer” medication, specifically…”Vicodin”

Initially I thought how did that happen, but now i realize that more  and more people are getting hooked with these type of prescription meds. Oxycontin is another pain med that comes to mind, as this is another pain medication that can be quite addicting. If you are using any of these particular pain meds, and find that you are relying on them more and more, then we suggest talking with your doctor immediately, and see if there are any different options for you.

We truly are creatures of habit so to speak…and these “habits” can develop quite quickly. Developing a tolerance threshold with pain killer medications could be possible, and before you know it, you will need more of the meds to achieve the desired results. Again, proceed with caution here. Talk with your doctor. The last thing you want is to be hooked on these type of meds. You deserve the best in Gods eyes, so be careful.

We hope that whatever your struggles might be, that you include God in coping with those Struggles. It really is difficult to navigate this life alone, or relying on other human beings. Sometimes only a true loving God can help us cope with the “mountains” of life, and lead us to the other side coming out a healthier and happier person.

We recommending getting an easy to read bible, and incorporate it into your daily life by reading life changing scriptures. God Bless…and have a great week….

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Self Medicating-Be Really Careful

It just seems that the stresses of life are on an upswing these days. I know more and more friends who are out of work, or forced to take a lower paying job just to make  ends meet. Others I know have been volunteering their time just to stay busy.

Actually that is really a great idea. Rather then sitting at home, go out and volunteer somewhere. A local soup kitchen, thrift store, wherever. I know what you might be thinking, that sure won’t pay the bills. I agree. But sometimes you can do a little “networking” and meet people who know somebody who is looking for help. You know what I mean.  Give and it is usually given back to you. It’s called the law of “Reciprocity”. Your act of kindness in helping others is usually returned.

But getting back on track, sometimes during these tough moments we want to “ease the pain” Escape from reality so to speak. That escape can be accomplished by alcohol or drugs, including grass. You have to be real careful when you fall into that “defeatist” mentality and the “woe is me” thinking. That is Satan talking for sure. Like Christ said, and I always keep repeating it, “The thief comes to kill, steal and destroy your life”  Be on guard. The last thing you want to do is start developing a “habit” where you are relying on something to get you through the day.

Get out of the house. Stay occupied. Like I said, volunteer. keep your mind focused on healthy things. And most of all pray. Every day that you can get up and out of the bed is a victory. Thank God for that. There truly are people worse off in this world. When the “temptation” comes to self-medicate, change your surroundings quick. If you’re with so called “friends” get out of there. Leave and go for a walk.

If you are home alone. get out of there as well. If it’s the middle of the night, then open the bible and start reading the book of Psalms. God will reveal himself to you for sure, and re-direct that stinking thinking. You are special. You are a creature that was made by the almighty God. He loves you and wants to help us navigate “This Life”. So lean on him, its never too late.

From all of us here at Christian Help For Addiction Online we continue to pray for you and know that God will eventually intervene in your struggles.

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A Thanks To All Mothers

Wow what more can I say but thanks. Especially all the mothers out there who have stood by us through thick or thin. I think of those reckless years, nights out, dysfunctional friends, struggle after struggle. But it always seemed that the mother of the individual struggling was always by their side.  Mothers have thick skin, that’s for sure.

I appreciate my mother so much for being a “Godly” mother. How she would pray at night for safety and guidance for all of us, and how she lived a life of faith, always keeping God first in her life. We are lucky when we have good role models, it truly rubs off.

If your mother is still with you then be thankful. Make sure you tell her how much you love her and appreciate all the things she has done. Give her a hug, and pray with her. If you have unresolved issues with your mother, then out them aside. Life is too short, and Satan would love nothing more then to see you at odds with your mother. As Christ said..”the thief comes to kill, steal and destroy” Swallow your pride and put a leash on your ego. Give your mom a call and tell her how much you love her.

For new and current mothers today we continue to pray for you. This world seems to be deteriorating a a quick pace, (at least morally). If you truly want the world to change the realize it starts with you and your kids. We have to be a positive role model for them. Don’t leave it to the teachers or anybody else. They have their own short comings, and you might not want your kids looking up to them.

Let them see that you are a woman of God. That there is a G0d that they can pray to for guidance and direction. Children need this hope. With schools today pushing evolution more and more, they are just squeezing God out of the equation. Again like Christ said, “the thief comes to kill, steal and destroy”.

We hope you have a wonderful mothers day. If your mom is in the hands of God then say a quick prayer. Something like, “Dear lord, Give mom a hug, we miss her so much and tell her we love her”   Hey don’t worry. Christ promised that all believers will be together again. So Believe!

Until next time stay well and God Bless> 

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Difficult Times Build Character?

That’s a common statement we hear when things seem to fall apart. I don’t know if these tough times really build character as much as if they show if we have any character at all. I know so many people who are out of work, that’s it’s incredible they can still pay the bills. Truly a test of character.

The one thing that we really have to be cautious with is “self-medicating”, when we are under stress. It’s so easy to reach for a bottle, some pain pills, cocaine of even more. We attempt to alter our moods by altering our brain chemistry. This can be extremely dangerous.

This is going to be a difficult life at times. Even Christ said that “in this world you will have trials and tribulations” Reading between the lines I’m really glad that he said “this” world, meaning there is more to come. But anyway, we have to learn how to “navigate” this world in a healthy and sober way. Addictions are at extreme levels, with even Heroin coming back strong.

If you are looking for some “mood alteration” try Christ. Read the bible. Read the New Testament and focus on his teachings. He Will give you some guidance on what to do when the going gets tough. What Christ did was pray. It had a calming effect and led him to many resolutions. Give it a try…you just might find some peace in this crazy world.

Until we talk again….stay well….Vic

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We Become a Product of Our Environment-Christian Addiction Help

That seems to be a popular phrase…”we become a product of our environment”…and it still holds water today.  For those of us that are struggling with an addiction or in recovery and battling an addiction….it is very important who we keep company with.

Start running with the winners a friend of mine had told me…how true that was….having healthy and sober friends that are navigating this life in a meaningful way is probably one of the best means of staying sober and drug free there is.  Jump on their ships and enjoy the ride.

When I talk with some of the most successful people in the world and question them as to what helped them become a success..the most dominant factor was the associates they had, and if lucky enough, a winning mentor that showed them the ropes….

Start running with the winners…find some healthy successful friends that you can feed off of and it will turn your life around!!!

 

Here at christian help for addiction online we offer information for those that are struggling with an addiction be it an alcohol addiction, painkiller addiction, sex addiction or whatever.  An addiction is an addiction, it manipulates our lives away from God and into despair.   Stay well and God Bless

Why Receive Christian Premarital Counseling?

“Love is long suffering, and is kind; love has no envy, love is not boastful, love does not behave itself inappropriately, seeks not its own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil, rejoices not in injustice, but rejoices in the truth; love bears all things, believes everything, endures everything” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

 

 

 

These beautiful words hold us to a high standard. That is why it has been said that before marriage one ought to open our eyes wide, but afterwards keep them half closed. In order to hold up this standard, so necessary for a marriage to work, we need to choose wisely. To decide if you are ready for marriage, you need to choose someone you can trust, because distrust erodes a relationship, and so does undeserved trust. You also need to know what your responsibilities to the marriage partner are so that you can evaluate yourself realistically. These two things can be done with the help of pre-marital therapy.

 

 

 

Why do you need Christian pre-marital therapy? The quote above is from the Bible. The greatest book of love is the Bible. The book of Luke is considered by many to be the most beautiful book ever written. The book of Luke, as well as the gospels of Mathew, Mark, and John, tells how Jesus died to save us – the believers and now the church- from our sins. “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, giving himself up for it” (Ephesians 5:25). God is the expert, par excellence, on love.

 

 

 

There is nothing wrong with going to a psychologist, a social worker, a professional counselor, or a psychiatrist for pre-marital and marital therapy. In fact I would encourage you because churches sometimes give only six sessions of pre-marital couple therapy, or group pre-marital therapy with non professional married couples as group leaders and this is barely just enough. Many couples who have received pre-marital therapy say that it helped them but that they wish they had received more therapy. There is so much need in the church for marital, family, addiction, and other kinds of counseling, that there is not enough pre-marital therapy. I would recommend supplementing the church’s pre-marital therapy with other pre-marital counseling.

 

 

 

However, Christian pre-marital counseling adds a dimension that secular therapies do not usually have. For example, the Christian counselor advises couples not to have sex before marriage. In his book on dating, Boy Meets Girl, Pastor Joshua Harris explains how a manager of a hotel for honeymooners would run out of activities for the newly married to do. This was because the now bored couples had pre-marital sex. Whereas, Joshua and his wife, who did not have sex prior to marriage, hardly left their room!

 

 

 

In the city where I live there is a saying among the non-believers. They say that marriage kills sex. But it is not marriage that kills sex, but pre-marital sex that kills marriage. I knew of one couple that lived together and had sex everyday before to marriage. After marriage, the wife confided, they had sex once a month. It is not worth it to ruin twenty five or more years of marital sex for one year or even less of pre-marital sex.

 

 

 

If you are contemplating marriage and you are living together, you must move apart and stop having sex for a time until you get married under the guidance of the pastor or Christian counselor. Physical intimacy is like a battery. It becomes charged with non sexual activities and gives off energy with sex. Do not skip that pre-marriage charging time.

 

 

 

When thinking about what pre-marital therapy is, people have different points of view. One woman tells how she was looking forward to marital therapy thirty years ago. “I thought that we would receive counseling courses about marital responsibility, but the entire time, the courses, which were called ‘marital counseling’, were about catechism.” She was disappointed as were many people in the course.

 

 

 

Decades later, now divorced, she expects that marital counseling should be about what marriage is, what people expect it to be, and what it will really be like. Dr. Wayne Mack makes a point that partners differ in expectations and should not wait until marriage to discuss these differences.

 

 

 

Dr. Nancy Alvarez, secular psychologist and sexologist says that some men want marriage with weekends off. That means they spend weekends drinking with their male friends as if they were single, instead of being with their wife. Obviously, that does not work out. Couples should also discuss why they are in love with one another. It has been observed that some people become happy when they hear why their betrothed wants to marry them, others become angry.

 

 

 

It is certainly natural for a marital counselor to talk about spiritual intimacy. In the book, “The Five Love Needs of Men and Women”, Christian marital experts Dr. Gary and Barbara Rosberg explain how there are two kinds of intimacy in marriage, physical and spiritual. Differences in religion could lead to a lack of understanding and different values. But not everything is religion.

 

 

 

Counselor Grisel López of El Sendero de la Cruz Christian Church in Puerto Rico explains that even in the case that the couple is of the same religion, some couples do not have compatibility of ministries. For example, if both are church leaders, and one sings in the altar and the other preaches, they are compatible. But if one is training to be a foreign missionary and the other is a pastor of a local church, then one of the two will have to give up his or her dreams for the success of the other, because they can not make both dreams come true and live together happily at the same time.

 

 

 

She adds that even church leaders, who know the Bible in general, still need pre-marital counseling. Some churches do not require pre-marital counseling for church leaders because the leaders know Christianity well, yet the divorce rate for Christians is about the same as for non-Christian marriages.

 

 

 

According to Dr. Wayne A. Mack, some of the things covered in pre-marital counseling are relations with in-laws, making a budget together, comparing differences in the way each one expresses love, good communication (a factor in most marital problems), and conflict resolution. It is important to plan ahead how you will approach problem solving, not waiting for the problems to begin and then start by seeking marital therapy. This is because there will be problems anyway so reducing their volatility will prevent bad memories that are hard to forget later.

 

 

 

Dr. Mack’s workbook, “Preparing for Marriage God’s Way”, can be used both in addition to marital therapy, (or independently, for those persons who live in areas where there is little availability of Christian pre-marital therapy). Two copies of the workbook are used. Each member of the couple reads and fills out the answers individually. Then the couple meet and discus their answers together. Mack suggests they can make note of significant differences and seek therapy for those issues as well.

 

 

 

Pre-marital counseling can be fun also. You get to take personality tests with your betrothed, learning more about each other in the process. Or it could lead to more deeper and interesting conversations to talk with your loved one. Some people think they already know each other well. But even people who have been married twenty years face surprises.

 

 

 

You should also find out some of your betrothed’s faults in the process. There may be faults that you understand about, this is called unconditional love. But there could also be faults that you do not tolerate. Some things are not negotiable like giving little importance to fidelity. Others might not matter to one husband, for example, that his future wife likes a relaxed style of housekeeping, as long as she is a business woman, but it could matter a lot to another man.

 

 

 

Counselor Grisel López teaches that the best way to find your ideal love is to tell the truth about how you are so you can find someone who will be happy with you instead of turned off. If you do not reveal your faults you will not know if it is safe to relax your guard with your betrothed and find the joy of being loved as you are.

 

 

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