Why Receive Christian Premarital Counseling?

“Love is long suffering, and is kind; love has no envy, love is not boastful, love does not behave itself inappropriately, seeks not its own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil, rejoices not in injustice, but rejoices in the truth; love bears all things, believes everything, endures everything” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

 

 

 

These beautiful words hold us to a high standard. That is why it has been said that before marriage one ought to open our eyes wide, but afterwards keep them half closed. In order to hold up this standard, so necessary for a marriage to work, we need to choose wisely. To decide if you are ready for marriage, you need to choose someone you can trust, because distrust erodes a relationship, and so does undeserved trust. You also need to know what your responsibilities to the marriage partner are so that you can evaluate yourself realistically. These two things can be done with the help of pre-marital therapy.

 

 

 

Why do you need Christian pre-marital therapy? The quote above is from the Bible. The greatest book of love is the Bible. The book of Luke is considered by many to be the most beautiful book ever written. The book of Luke, as well as the gospels of Mathew, Mark, and John, tells how Jesus died to save us – the believers and now the church- from our sins. “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, giving himself up for it” (Ephesians 5:25). God is the expert, par excellence, on love.

 

 

 

There is nothing wrong with going to a psychologist, a social worker, a professional counselor, or a psychiatrist for pre-marital and marital therapy. In fact I would encourage you because churches sometimes give only six sessions of pre-marital couple therapy, or group pre-marital therapy with non professional married couples as group leaders and this is barely just enough. Many couples who have received pre-marital therapy say that it helped them but that they wish they had received more therapy. There is so much need in the church for marital, family, addiction, and other kinds of counseling, that there is not enough pre-marital therapy. I would recommend supplementing the church’s pre-marital therapy with other pre-marital counseling.

 

 

 

However, Christian pre-marital counseling adds a dimension that secular therapies do not usually have. For example, the Christian counselor advises couples not to have sex before marriage. In his book on dating, Boy Meets Girl, Pastor Joshua Harris explains how a manager of a hotel for honeymooners would run out of activities for the newly married to do. This was because the now bored couples had pre-marital sex. Whereas, Joshua and his wife, who did not have sex prior to marriage, hardly left their room!

 

 

 

In the city where I live there is a saying among the non-believers. They say that marriage kills sex. But it is not marriage that kills sex, but pre-marital sex that kills marriage. I knew of one couple that lived together and had sex everyday before to marriage. After marriage, the wife confided, they had sex once a month. It is not worth it to ruin twenty five or more years of marital sex for one year or even less of pre-marital sex.

 

 

 

If you are contemplating marriage and you are living together, you must move apart and stop having sex for a time until you get married under the guidance of the pastor or Christian counselor. Physical intimacy is like a battery. It becomes charged with non sexual activities and gives off energy with sex. Do not skip that pre-marriage charging time.

 

 

 

When thinking about what pre-marital therapy is, people have different points of view. One woman tells how she was looking forward to marital therapy thirty years ago. “I thought that we would receive counseling courses about marital responsibility, but the entire time, the courses, which were called ‘marital counseling’, were about catechism.” She was disappointed as were many people in the course.

 

 

 

Decades later, now divorced, she expects that marital counseling should be about what marriage is, what people expect it to be, and what it will really be like. Dr. Wayne Mack makes a point that partners differ in expectations and should not wait until marriage to discuss these differences.

 

 

 

Dr. Nancy Alvarez, secular psychologist and sexologist says that some men want marriage with weekends off. That means they spend weekends drinking with their male friends as if they were single, instead of being with their wife. Obviously, that does not work out. Couples should also discuss why they are in love with one another. It has been observed that some people become happy when they hear why their betrothed wants to marry them, others become angry.

 

 

 

It is certainly natural for a marital counselor to talk about spiritual intimacy. In the book, “The Five Love Needs of Men and Women”, Christian marital experts Dr. Gary and Barbara Rosberg explain how there are two kinds of intimacy in marriage, physical and spiritual. Differences in religion could lead to a lack of understanding and different values. But not everything is religion.

 

 

 

Counselor Grisel López of El Sendero de la Cruz Christian Church in Puerto Rico explains that even in the case that the couple is of the same religion, some couples do not have compatibility of ministries. For example, if both are church leaders, and one sings in the altar and the other preaches, they are compatible. But if one is training to be a foreign missionary and the other is a pastor of a local church, then one of the two will have to give up his or her dreams for the success of the other, because they can not make both dreams come true and live together happily at the same time.

 

 

 

She adds that even church leaders, who know the Bible in general, still need pre-marital counseling. Some churches do not require pre-marital counseling for church leaders because the leaders know Christianity well, yet the divorce rate for Christians is about the same as for non-Christian marriages.

 

 

 

According to Dr. Wayne A. Mack, some of the things covered in pre-marital counseling are relations with in-laws, making a budget together, comparing differences in the way each one expresses love, good communication (a factor in most marital problems), and conflict resolution. It is important to plan ahead how you will approach problem solving, not waiting for the problems to begin and then start by seeking marital therapy. This is because there will be problems anyway so reducing their volatility will prevent bad memories that are hard to forget later.

 

 

 

Dr. Mack’s workbook, “Preparing for Marriage God’s Way”, can be used both in addition to marital therapy, (or independently, for those persons who live in areas where there is little availability of Christian pre-marital therapy). Two copies of the workbook are used. Each member of the couple reads and fills out the answers individually. Then the couple meet and discus their answers together. Mack suggests they can make note of significant differences and seek therapy for those issues as well.

 

 

 

Pre-marital counseling can be fun also. You get to take personality tests with your betrothed, learning more about each other in the process. Or it could lead to more deeper and interesting conversations to talk with your loved one. Some people think they already know each other well. But even people who have been married twenty years face surprises.

 

 

 

You should also find out some of your betrothed’s faults in the process. There may be faults that you understand about, this is called unconditional love. But there could also be faults that you do not tolerate. Some things are not negotiable like giving little importance to fidelity. Others might not matter to one husband, for example, that his future wife likes a relaxed style of housekeeping, as long as she is a business woman, but it could matter a lot to another man.

 

 

 

Counselor Grisel López teaches that the best way to find your ideal love is to tell the truth about how you are so you can find someone who will be happy with you instead of turned off. If you do not reveal your faults you will not know if it is safe to relax your guard with your betrothed and find the joy of being loved as you are.

 

 

The Benefits Of A Christian Weight Loss Program

One of the best ways to lose weight is to have a change of heart as well as a change of mind. When you participate in a Christian weight loss program you’ll soon discover that the emphasis will include more than simply losing weight.

You can take as many diet pills as you want and it will still not provide a method for proven weight loss in the long term. With pills you will generally see results as long as you are taking the pills. Once you abandon the pills because of total cost or dissatisfaction in how your body is reacting to the stimuli found in most diet pills you will see the weight return – and the weight always seems to bring friends.

With a Christian weight loss program you are encouraged to come to an understanding of who God intended you to be. This becomes important because inactivity has a keen effect on depression and self-esteem. When you combine a three prong approach to this process you find there is a lifestyle change, weight loss and exercise.

A quality Christian weight loss program is concerned about the whole person and not simply quantifying results. It’s not uncommon for those who are looking to lose weight to find general discouragement when they observe that those who do exercise seem more enthused with life and are generally happier. The reason for this is that when a person exercises regularly endorphins are released that give a positive boost to their outlook on life providing a positive outlook on life. Those who exercise regularly experience this sensation and it provides a unique bonus to their health maintenance goals.

This is why so many find exercise almost addictive when it is practiced regularly. A Christian weight loss program helps you find a balance between appropriate exercise, healthy food choices, and the spiritual dimension to your life that most weight loss programs never seem to address.

God’s Word tells us in Romans that “There is… no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” A Christian weight loss program is not about guilt; rather it is designed to enable you to find a better way to manage your weight loss objectives in a way that does not deny your faith.

When choosing a Christian weight loss program you should look for results, but also attention to biblical precepts that enable you to feel comfortable with a plan that has allowed others to see long term results.

Such a program assists in providing you with an understanding that change is something that is achievable once the problem is recognized. Just as faith is an element to help an individual heal from various diseased, that very same faith can be used successfully in a Christian weight loss program that places high value on trust.

When you feel better about yourself and natural endorphins are released you will find you have more energy and a better countenance. A quality Christian weight loss program helps you understand these dynamics and make use of them in the positive changes you will discover in a new lifestyle choice.

A good program will not insist on expensive weigh loss pills or fitness club membership. They will, however, provide a means to enhancing your metabolisms ability to burn fat and increase your energy level – and they never leave the faith element in your life behind.

Christian drug treatment

When considering Christian drug treatment, a person may not know quite what to expect. Essentially, there is little difference between Christian and non-Christian drug treatment, in terms of basic program structure. Both will offer counseling, treatment, therapy, life skills education, aftercare, and possibly even detoxification to rid the body of residual toxins accumulated during the course of the addiction.

There will be some differences, however, in philosophy and treatment approaches. Christian drug treatment will integrate traditional Christian values like forgiveness, humility, and dedication. Self-reliance will be minimized and reliance on God will be emphasized. Traditional Christianity emphasizes Jesus as the path to salvation and forgiveness, and that theme will continue throughout Christian drug treatment.

For the person who values Christian principles and the Christian faith, Christian drug treatment is a terrific option because it surrounds the recovering addict with like-minded people. This can be tremendously supportive in keeping a person focused on their goals and making the right choices during and after treatment. Dependence on God also relieves a lot of the self-imposed pressure and self-reliance that recovering addicts are prone to.

Christian drug treatment is not for everyone, but can provide a lot of advantages for those who wish to pursue it. It can help a person discover Christianity for the first time, or renew their commitment to the faith. Ultimately, commitment to that faith can help a person stay on track longer and experience a more successful recovery and a healthier, happier life.

Additionally, the intensive Self-Discovery and Inventory part of our Christian Drug Treatment helps the client uncover, and discover, which has become an obstacle in the path of their spiritual walk.  When the program is successful, these obstacles have been discarded while their faith has been strengthened.  Therefore the client has a means to remain clean and sober after recovery has been completed.

Christian Alcohol Rehab:Overview of Programs Offered

Christian alcohol rehab programs can be a beautiful and a unique way to cure drug and alcohol addiction. As the name suggests, the focus of the treatments at the hub of these programs is religion, with the aim of instilling a sense of confidence in addicts who are trying to recover. In these treatments, the teachings of Jesus Christ are used in the fight to cure the victims of drug and alcohol addiction.

Addicts who embark on these courses in the hope of sobriety normally find treatments which are faith-based and from a spiritual angle. The programs aim to bring addicts to sobriety in as efficient a way as possible by using the following methods:

Individual counseling: every patient is given a personal health counselor who talks with the addict in order to find out the root cause that led them to drug addiction. Once that is done, the counselor also has sessions with close family members in order to understand the patient better. From there, step-by-step guidance can be given towards mental and spiritual recovery. As in most cases, drug addiction arises from family issues, and this is why these personal sessions are very important before the treatments are planned. Group counseling: in group counseling, addicts are encouraged to interact with those who are experiencing the same problem. In group sessions, people have the opportunity to tell their stories as well as the opportunity to support each other on the road to recovery. Education in chemical dependency: this involves educating the patient in terms of the medical implications that can be a result of drug and alcohol intake. These vital sessions can show recovering addicts how drug intake can adversely affect their health both physically and emotionally.

Aside from the above mentioned programs, there are various other methods which help the addict to overcome the dependencies they have. By being treated with these programs, addicts can be introduced to faith, which can result in those who are recovering from a dependency welcoming a belief into their lives.

After successfully being treated, most addicts have the opportunity to participate in sobriety clubs which can continue the support that recovering addicts need to remain sober. Christian methods of alcoholism recovery utilize Bible readings and religious activities which help victims to realize and value the importance of life. Some people believe that there couldn’t be a better way of successfully curing a dependency than this.

Christian alcohol rehab centers are also trying to promote spirituality, by emphasizing the love and power of God in Christianity. In a way, these treatments are a course in religious discovery as much as they are a course in eliminating alcohol dependencies; but for some, the help that addicts get when they are at their weakest and most vulnerable can result in them opening their eyes to the new ways of thinking that some treatment centers provide on a daily basis.

Looking For A Christian Drug Rehab Center?

The fact is that drug addiction can disturb any person, and even though you may be pious in your religious beliefs with a great moral standing,  you can become uncomfortable with a severe drug addiction and need the support of a christian drug rehab center. If an individual close to you is experiencing a substance abuse, attending one of these centers is highly recommended.

A christian drug rehab center will use medical and psychological drugs, and mix them with religious counseling in order to cure the sufferer, along with his other unknown diseases. Before you enter any of these centers, you do not have to really believe in christianity. Several individuals mistakenly assume that these centers only receive human beings of the christian faith. Not at all, it is not only for those of a specific belief, but also welcomes any person who truly requires support in the fight against substance abuse.

For millions of human beings who are substance abusers, a christian drug rehab center is the most excellent location to get hold of assistance. It is the ideal location for those seeking to be aware of God and gain knowledge of how to triumph over drugs making use of  christian principles and the force of prayer. Experts in these centers will do whatever is crucial to make easier for an individual to break the cycle of substance abuse. In addition, addicts are supported to prepare for life after substance abuse treatment. Recovery victims are taught about the hazard and side effects of drug addiction, showing them how living a healthy, drug-free life can be so much better. Bible study and regular church sessions are a vital piece of the method used to help out addicts. Besides, they use normal church attendance, which assist the recovery victim begin to create a standard life and presents recommendations and backing throughout the delicate process of addiction recovery.

To fruitfully fight drug addiction, an individual should be prepared to admit to the problem and try to find the  support of a christian drug rehab center. The only system  to successfully defeat drug addiction is with time and proper cure. Besides, after the addict has completed the program in the center, it is recommended for them to join a christian support group in addition to churches that present faith-based gatherings for recovering alcoholics and addicts.  When taking into consideration other forms of therapy, several human beings always come back to a christian drug rehab center because of the care, warmth and support supplied to a convalescing substance abuser.  

Christian Drug Rehabilitation Help Addicts and Alcoholics With Addiction Issues

Drug addiction has been one of the prime concerns among youth that have resulted in a life full of pain, sorrow and troubles. Even though parents advise their children to be careful and stay away from the bad company, some children are misguided to take up drug addiction. The youth always has an inquisitive mind to learn something. If they are misguided by someone to choose a wrong path, they may end up giving up studies and career and plunge their future into doldrums. Parents of those children who have turned drug addicts take great efforts to get rid of their addiction but it is by no means, an easy task.I am going to share with you some successful tips that can help anyone in getting over with drug addiction. Drug addicts should be made to realize how positively their lives can be influenced if they fight drug addiction. The bottom line is that if the drug addict does not have the urge to quit addiction, no matter what methods one may try to make him quit his addiction, it will go in vain. Hence, if you are going to spend thousands of dollars on your loved one to stop his addiction and if he does not have any desire to take a step towards, your efforts may not be successful

As the Bible says, faith without deeds is nothing; in the same way there has to be an action if there is a desire to quit addiction of drugs. Hence, the addict has to be encouraged to go ahead and make an attempt at curbing his habits towards drugs. One of the main things that you need to make sure is that the addict severs his friendship or gathering with other drug addicts and peddlers. Christian drug rehabilitation center help individuals who have become victim to drugs to see the positive aspects of the life, according to the teachings of Christ.

He should also try to stay away from parties and gatherings where there is involvement of drugs and alcohol. The main reason is that even if the addict decides to quit his habit but maintain friendship with members who take drugs, some day or the other he will again turn back to the same habit again. A good idea would be to let the addict tell his well meaning friends that he is trying to quit his drug addiction. These friends will help him in getting over his addiction. Undoubtedly, the family should also render their fullest support in helping him control his addiction.

Let the addict socialize with family members or friends of the neighborhood, and involve himself in some activities that keeps him busy and focused. This will help him in staying away from addicted buddies. Also, stay away from the temptation to get hooked onto prescription drugs. Family members should keep prescription based medication out of reach of addicts

If these techniques do not work then the only proper solution is to get in touch with a rehab center. With an effective follow-up procedure that is practiced at Christian drug rehabilitation, one can easily live a refreshingly new and happy life. Such a faith based rehab center will effectively divert the mind of the addict and keep him engaged in doing God’s will.

What are the Benefits of a Christian Alcohol Rehab?

Alcoholics not only suffer from mental instability, but also psychological and physical problems associated with this disease. In a society that has an increasingly vast number of alcoholics; it is reassuring to know that alcohol rehabilitation in a Christian alcohol rehab program has proven to be most effective.

Alcoholic addiction is damaging to bodily organs like the kidney and the liver and sometimes these are irreparable. Reformation and restoration are the key ingredients to the Christian treatment program because it gives the alcoholic a new lease on life and a way to get the medical care that they so need.

On their own, an alcoholic is farther from seeking treatment because all that they think about is getting that next drink. The drink that will give them the ease from their pain is all that they are looking for and nothing else. It is just like a drug addict trying to get that next hit and they will do anything it takes to do so.

The alcohol addict is not someone that lacks experience or a family life. This is someone who tries to function in the most normal existence with this family. He or she tries to keep the family intact and their addiction becomes part of the family thread.

Children in the family keep it a secret as the outside world looks on. They are all in denial of what is taking place and children especially seem helpless to do anything about it. It comes with shame and embarrassment as well as hopelessness. The alcohol rehabilitation in a Christian alcohol rehab program will help to encourage the patient to ask God for help and to meditate on the word of God where they will find peace in the midst of all the chaos.

The goal here is to give the recovering alcohol reason to live and to be confident that there is a power that his higher that can give comfort and hope to those who seem hopeless. The program assists the patient with the healing process that deals with mind, spirit and body. They are able to get in touch with the inner man and to stop fighting the demon of alcohol that is plaguing their lives.

In fact, they are encouraged that the fight does not belong to them, but to a Supreme Being who loves them regardless of their past deeds. The recovering alcohol will be able to learn how to cope with new spiritual ideas and their personal and spiritual path or journey to sobriety.

Mentorship and counseling will equip the recovering alcoholic with the right tools to right the wrongs that they committed against their family and friends. They will earn the forgiveness of God and feel a weight lifted off of them so that they can have a renewed state of mind to continue the journey of life.

Confession brings forgiveness and a spiritual renewing of the mind. They will now have a testimony that they can share to others who might be going through the same thing and need help that is not hard to find.

Christian drug rehab vs Secular rehab

There are many kinds of rehabs available, which treat drug addiction. If the addict is not religious and doesn’t have any religious beliefs ten he has the option of selecting either secular rehabs or Christian drug rehabs. The rehabs are the centers of treatment where the addict is helped by the able staff and experienced professionals in recovering from the addiction.

 

What are the different possible options available that help an addict recover from drug addiction and how do they differ? This question is frequently encountered by the addict and his or her family members. There are many kinds of treatment centers available for treating an addict of his drug addiction. These rehabs can be broadly classified into secular rehabs, which don’t involve any kind of religious beliefs and teachings of God to help the addict overcome his addiction. The other kind of drug rehabs available is religious drug rehab. These drug rehabs employ various kinds of spiritual programs along with regular medication and medical methods in the treatment of the addict. Many people quit drinking and abusing drugs by using medical and therapeutic treatment methods alone.

Secular rehabs

Secular rehabs are the rehabs where the treatment is carried out only on the basis of medical science, which is good but not the best possible solution for the treatment of drug addicts. General medication alone cannot help the addict recover from the drug addiction completely. The main point which the secular rehabs forget when they design their medication programs is that drug addiction is a illness related not only to the physical body but also to the mind of the addict.

Various kinds of treatment procedures are employed in these treatment centers. Treatment procedures like detox treatment, pharmaceutical treatment etc is provided at these centers.

Usage of tranquillizers that help the addict calm down and usage of diet and vitamins that can help the addict have a more healthy body are the most common processes that are involved in detox treatment. The addict experiences many kinds of withdrawal symptoms during the period of detox treatment that could be very harmful.

Pharmaceutical treatment that is employed at these centers use high doses of medicines to treat the addicts which may lead the addict to dependency on medicines. This type of treatment may also lead to the addict recover from drugs and get addicted to medicines. Secular rehabs surely help the addicts treated from drug addiction but in many cases the fail in treating the way which would keep the addict away from drugs his whole life.

Christian drug rehabs

The other kinds of treatment centre available that can help the addict recover from the drug addiction are Christian drug rehabs. These rehabs are named in such a way because they use Christian ways of treatment along with the new treatment procedures to help the addict overcome his or her addiction. In Christian drug rehabs all the working staff believes that a healthy mind is required for an individual to overcome this serious addiction.

The treatment procedures that are designed in these rehabs help the addict recover from the addiction in a medical as well as spiritual way. The teachings of Jesus Christ and the holy scriptures of Bible are used to heal the addict in a way that would help not only in overcoming the addiction but also in emerging as a better human being. These rehabs also include programs such as individual counseling, group counseling, pastoral counseling, church visits etc to help the addict get rid of his or her addiction.

The programs used to treat the addict at these rehabs are very effective and help the addict overcome their addiction forever. The Christian drug rehabs also take the impact of drugs not only on the addict but also on his or her family members and friends into consideration and allow their active participation in various activities. The group counseling sessions help the addict get rid of suicidal tendencies and feelings of guilt and shame.

The Christian drug rehabs treat the addict in such a way that he never feels that he or she is away in some rehabilitation center. The addicts who have taken treatment at the rehabs do not undergo any kind of pressure due to the Christian drug rehabs. The peaceful and the serene environment that is provided by these rehabs help the addict gain tranquility and control over his or her life.

Does Your Husband Struggle With Pornography? Three Starting Places for Talking About Pornography in a Christian Marriage

When I started writing Secure in Heart—Overcoming Insecurity in a Woman’s Life, I knew that I wanted to pull together a resource that would help me and other women lift the shame off of insecurity. What I didn’t realize is that with God’s help (and the courageous go-ahead from my husband Dave) that it would contain our most vulnerable struggles—including our longtime battle with sexual addiction.

Now women often ask me, “What should I do if I discover my husband is involved in pornography or other sexual activities outside of marriage?” To answer, I start by explaining why that question has been so central in my own journey.

A Twenty-Year Dance of Addiction
Dave’s struggle with pornography began well before Internet use became popular. As a preteen, he first experienced pornography through a stash of pornographic magazines at a friend’s house, introducing a false sense of intimacy early in life. My own love addiction sprouted as I grew up in an alcoholic home and endured sexual abuse as a young girl.

The pain and losses my husband and I both brought into our marriage created an unhealthy “dance” with well-memorized steps on both of our parts. He would relapse and look at pornography. I would run to him and seek desperately to win back his affection. The cycle repeated more times than I can remember.

There were times where Dave didn’t share his falls with me—trying instead to will his way out of his longtime struggle. He reasoned that he was protecting me. Part of the reason he didn’t share was my propensity to huge overreactions. My insecurity simply didn’t allow for that kind of openness.

But as it became obvious that this struggle wasn’t going to magically disappear overnight, God began to work on my heart. I began to see that it would take both of us working together to heal our marriage from pornography. Part of that meant being willing to “get my head out of the sand” and honestly face Dave’s struggles. This was painful, as his struggles were deeper and darker than I realized.

It also meant engaging my own healing by being willing to participate in counseling, recovery groups and reading. I slowly began to understand that my own losses were just as deep as Dave’s.

Yet another big change was needed in my approach to Dave’s sexual sin. I needed to learn to talk with him about the most sensitive of struggles in a way that was real, but that was also gracious. I needed to learn to express my hurt and set good boundaries without heaping shame on my partner.

So, now we’re back to our original question — what can you do if you suspect (or discover) that your husband uses pornography? Here are three healthy starting places.

1) Remove Shame — My first bit of advice is always, “Don’t panic.” Just as women carry deep shame over our insecurities, men carry deep shame about their secret battles with purity. While it’s often the natural tendency, unloading your fears on your husband in a fit of hysteria won’t help. In fact, most ongoing users of pornography are trying to medicate emotional pain. Shame is part of the problem, not part of the solution.

Instead, after you’ve taken a little time to get past the initial shock, set up a time to talk. Pray over your conversation and give your husband some control over when you talk. For instance, you might ask, “Honey, I need to talk about with you about something. When would be a good time?”

2) Ask Upfront Questions — Then, when you sit down together, initiate a conversation that goes something like this: “Honey, I want to talk to you about something that’s difficult to talk about, but really important for us discuss. Please hear me out. Here’s what I’ve discovered and how I discovered it. Or even, here’s what I suspect and here’s why.”

Then, after he’s had a chance to respond, you might gently probe: “When was the last time you looked at pornography? What kind of pornography do you look at? Do you watch X-rated videos? How often do you masturbate? Have you ever called a dating line or visited a strip club? Do you visit adult bookstores?” Have you been unfaithful?

Don’t be surprised if he initially is defensive. Remember it is scary to come out of hiding. And, regardless of what answers you get, try not to over-react. It’s appropriate to share your deep hurt (i.e. I’m scared. I’m devastated. I’m hurt that you didn’t let me in), but be careful of shame statements — Are you crazy? What’s wrong with you? Are you trying to destroy out family?

3) Let Others Into Your Battle – If your fears are confirmed, it’s time to get some help from others who have had similar struggles and been successful. Many churches have recovery programs (like Celebrate Recovery) where you can get specific help. Outside counsel and attending recovery groups will help you establish healthy boundaries. You’ll also gain grace-filled relationships with others who understand and are a little farther down the road.

Ultimately, healing comes as needs formerly medicated by pornography are met through the true intimacy found in godly, nurturing relationships. By helping your husband to break out of the isolation of hiding sexual sin, you are giving him a great gift.

Hope for the Future
Confronting impurity in a marriage can be a conduit of God’s grace for both partners. God continues to bring much good in my own life through my husband’s battles. If Dave’s battles hadn’t come into the forefront, I don’t know if I would have ever dealt with my own codependency coming from my father’s alcoholism. I certainly wouldn’t have written Secure in Heart.

With time, God has done an amazing work of restoration. In fact, Dave and I would say that one of the strengths of our relationship is our intimacy. And now we’re grateful to be at a place where we’re helping other couples find hope after impurity. Our hope is that our story can help many other couples get on the path to healing much quicker than we did. Most of all, remember you’re not alone and there is hope.

Resource Box:
Learn more about dealing with sexual addiction within your marriage or overcoming other sources of insecurity by visiting www.secureinheart.com.

Robin Weidner, author of Secure in Heart: Overcoming Insecurity in a Woman’s Life regularly speaks to women’s groups and churches about replacing the damaging lies of Satan with the unchanging truths of God. Weidner also provides resources and advice on how to address addiction and codependency within relationships.

Smoking is not compatible with living a Christian, Spirit-filled life

God has commanded us, which we strive to live Holy lives. Your body has one main purpose from God’s perspective, to “Bring Glory to God.” That means what ever you do “SHOULD” have God’s glory in mind. Smoking does not glorify God. Smoking has no good benefits and has the potential to damage the smoker’s health. Smoking Not Only Harms Ones Health It Also Destroys a Christian’s Testimony for the Lord. About 419,000 people die each year from cigarette and cigar smoking and that is only in the United States. Smoke defiles the body is readily seen. Smoking causes 20 percent of all deaths in the United States each year. Cigarette smoking is the major cause of lung disease, including emphysema and chronic bronchitis

 

. It is proven to cause cancer, heart disease and hormonal problems. Smoking is also linked to pulmonary diseases, cardiovascular disease. Many profess they love the Lord, but their defeated lives controlled by their addiction to cigarettes places a serious question mark over their professed love for Christ. Regardless of how we may try and justify it. Smoking, and spitting tobacco, is a filthy habit.

 

Apostle Paul says 2 Cor: 7:1.Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.

The truth is a smoker is an addict and he is already in bondage in much the same way as an alcoholic and is spiritually defeated. We are told in the bible that , “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Some Christians harden their heart become rebellious against Gods word and who discourage them smoking who not only would not admit their sin, but let the Devil use them to defeat. Smoking becomes addictive which makes a slave out of those who use it, it is a bad witness for the Christ, it may be harmful to others, and causes for our weaker brethren to stumble.

 

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law (Galatians 5:22,23).

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love (2 Peter 1:5-7). Avoid temptations and shun evil companions. Read Psalm 1:1-6;

Prov.1:10-16; 1Tim.4:6-16. Keep company with God’s people and seek at all

times to help others and be a blessing to them. Rom. 12,1Corinth. 13, Col. 3:5-10

That each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable (1 Thessalonians 4:4).

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God (Ephesians 5:1,2).

 

 

We are to love our children, but people who smoke are potentially harming young children. Many studies have shown that in the first two years of life, babies of parents who smoke at home have a much higher rate of lung diseases such as bronchitis and pneumonia than babies with non-smoking parents. Infants and children have tender tissues and are more susceptible to passive smoke. Acute respiratory illnesses happen twice as often to young children whose parents smoke even if they are without asthma. Passive smoke exposure is associated with 150,000 to 300,000 cases of chronic bronchitis and pneumonia in children younger than eighteen months. Exposure to smoke can cause people to develop many lung problems, such as allergies, asthma, and heart problems. A study involving children from five years-old to nine years-old showed impaired lung function in youths who had smoking parents as compared with children whose parents were non-smokers.

 

Smoking by pregnant women seems to predispose premature babies to respiratory distress syndrome. Parents who smoke at home can aggravate symptoms in some children with asthma and even trigger asthma episodes. Further children exposed to secondhand smoke can develop middle ear infections, suffer from wheezing, coughing, and worsen asthma conditions. It is quite contradictory for a parent to love their children and yet expose them to cigarette smoke and by their example are teaching their children to smoke also. With every temptation the Lord is present providing the way to escape the temptation and not sin.

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves (Romans 12:10).

We ought always to thank God for you, brothers, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love every one of you has for each other is increasing (2 Thessalonians 1:3).

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