Addictions and our Relationships.

It is no doubt that many of you have heard that an addiction is a “family disease”, that impacts all family members who are attached in one way or another to the individual struggling with various demons. Relationships are no exception, and many of us have thrown in the towel in otherwise “healthy” relationships, mainly because our partners are struggling with an addiction.

Take Steve and Iris (name change) who I have known for years. They married young (20), and had many things going for them, even though the stigma of a “way to young” marriage was always thrown at them by family and friends.

Steve had an active trade (certified mechanic) and Iris was a licensed nurse. Iris knew coming into the relationship that Steve had a “small” cocaine problem, but she was sure that he would outgrow it in time, especially with the new child on its way. Several years passed, and Steve couldn’t shake the habit. In-fact it seemed to get worse, as a weekend binge now turned into an almost daily event, with money disappearing out of he bank account at an accelerated rate.

Iris confronted Steve and put some ultimatums into place, as he was not only driving them into financial ruin, but behaving as a truly detached, incompetent father. Speeding up the story sees Steve and Iris separating for almost 3 years, as it took an inpatient rehab stay before Steve was able to break loose from the cocaine bondage.

Yes they are back together now, and thank God Steve is clean and sober. Everyone in this small family suffered, and I believe Iris suffered just as much as Steve. It was she who was up all night worrying if Steve would come home alive after a night of partying, and again her who took care of their child day and night while Steve was either incapacitated, or gone from their lives.

Addiction takes its toll on everyone. If you or a family member are struggling with this disease, get them help as quickly as possible. Time can be an enemy of someone struggling with an addiction, and you owe it to yourself and your partner to act as quickly as possible.

Until next time….stay well and God Bless…Vic